Alright. It happened. Ya know how there are just some people that go out of their way to exemplify every single thing that is wrong with the human condition? Well, one of those people sent me a friend request on Facebook. I can't for the life of me imagine why. He and I didn't exactly run in the same circles. In fact, some members of his circle literally threw rocks at me and mine. The experience created such a sense of hatred and anger within me that, even though it has been so many years, it all came rushing back to the surface in less than a heartbeat. I do not like that feeling. Hatred is the twin brother of murder, I'm convinced. And God forgive me, I hated him.
I ignored his request.
Maybe I shouldn't have. Perhaps this was a proverbial olive branch. Perhaps not. All I know is that it took a very long time for me to fight off that white hot stab of hatred I felt in my heart at the mention of one man's name and I do not relish the thought of inviting it into my world again. Maybe the problem is me. Maybe I should get over myself and realize that everyone changes. I know I have. Perhaps I should think this thing through more thoroughly and even send a friend request back to him. Perhaps one day I will.
But, God help me, today is not that day.
If you're the praying type, send some my way on this, will ya?
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Will do. Just happy that you posted something here though :-)
ReplyDeleteI know. Been a while. Moving, working full time and school full time makes it kinda difficult. Thanks for your prayers, bro. Love ya for it!
ReplyDeleteThe thing to keep in mind is that people do grow up and regret what they did as teenagers or even young adults. That said, a girl did send me a friend request that made me go, huh? She tried to ruin a relationship with one of my boyfriends and then wanted to fight me, but when a group of us girls went to her house to call her out, she didn't come. That was 19 years ago. I ignored her recent friend request and I don't feel one bit of regret on that decision. Sure, maybe she regrets what she did to me (and others) but I don't think a person's inner character changes. Even if she hadn't been unkind to me, I would have never chosen her as a friend. And I have no desire to now. I don't hate her, to hate is to give the other person power over you. I just don't want her energy mixing with mine.
ReplyDeleteSo, don't feel as though to be a good person you have to accept a friend request from someone you don't like. Acknowledge (to yourself) that this person made an attempt at friendship (even one as small as FB) and try to let go of the hate. This person can't harm you anymore. You have a wonderful life now. The best revenge is living well, you know.
Of course I'm curious if it's someone I know....
God makes all things new. He can heal anyone or anything, including past hurts and anger that have eaten away at you for years. The question is, have you forgiven this person for the hurt they caused you? You don't have to like them. You don't have to "friend" them. As a Christian you do have to find forgiveness for them and act in a manner that honors Christ. Maybe a short message to that person stating that you have been hurt before, and while you're open to conversation, fb isn't the medium you're comfortable with at this time.
ReplyDeleteChrist IS able to change people. Maybe he is challenging you to be his witness to this person in a totally different time in both your lives. I don't know. Just throwing that out there.
I'll be praying for you and this situation. :) I have a thing for anger and know how it goes lol. I have people in my life that have treated me very badly and I know that feeling of immediate and larger than life anger. When we were helping to start the church we attend, our pastor challenged us to contact people that had hurt us in the past and tell them that we were sorry for any hurt inflicted by us for our side of the conflict. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I knew that I was "right" in the conflict. I couldn't have imagined how much that conversation and my small offering could mean to that person (or myself). She was still harboring anger in her heart as well. Now I am casual friends with her and can (and do) talk to her about God. There is no way I could have been a witness for Christ to her before. I was too angry and couldn't treat her with the true and amazing love of Jesus. One small conversation and my submission to God's love for others freed us both of that anger.
Brother, I will pray that you can find Christ's freedom in this situation. If you are interested, go to www.rocmin.com and search the series 'Seven" for 'Anger'. Good luck, let us know how it goes.